Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Time











I woke up yesterday and realized that i am living my dream life. Eveything is not perfect but it is what I would pick for myself. I am not sure how I got here but I am proud of myself for not giving up or settleing along the way.

A year ago I was suffering from a broken heart. I can remember just wanting to "get better". I constantly harrased my friends, neghbors and complete strangers for advice on how to make my sadness go away and return to my normal life and self. Everyone gave me the same response, "time". Time, time, time. It just takes time. If another person would have told me this whole time business I probably would have cired or laughed or screamed. I just could not believe that by just doing nothing and allowing myself to stay in this sad sleepless nightmare that my life would magically change into one of the chick lit stories I was reading in the middle of my tearful sleepless nights. Also, this was my first breakup and being a bit of a perfectionist I needed details on time. How much time would it take? How do I know if my time is here? Am I progessing though a breakup in the correct amount of time? And my favorite, how do I make it take less time?


Now it has been a year and I am "all better". In addition to being "better", I am different. I am more patient (you should have seen me before), relaxed and balanced. I have fallen in love with yoga and decorated my first home. I have traveled the world and moved overseas. I have become independent and trusting. I have learned how to ski, become comfortable asking for help and forgoten the past.


I spend more time with my family and friends. I allow myself time to just do nothing. I spend more time in the park with my dogs. As I was filling up my days trying to speed up time I found a way to slow down and become better. I am greatful for the time when my heart was broken to pieces because although the pieces of the puzzle looked pretty good from a distance, they were not right up close. Now I have taken the time to put the pieces back together myself. I like this version of the puzzle; it fits and is beautiful.

No comments: